Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Underwear Parties

I am no longer surprised that men imagine women regularly have pillow fights with each other in their underwear. Men are often sneaky about these things, so I'm not sure if they were invented by men or women, but the continued practice of celebrating a bride-to-be by throwing her a lingerie party is no doubt propagating this rumor. Ladies, what are we doing to ourselves? If we were to receive underwear from a boyfriend it would be considered a "non-present," as it is not necessarily intended to make our lives easier, more comfortable, or to be used as tender at an expensive restaurant. Buying underwear is not one of my favorite pastimes. It is something you do when all your underwear is currently in the hamper and you are too lazy to run them through a wash cycle. How does one even know what sizes to buy a friend who is getting married? I personally do not spend much of my time trying to figure out what cup sizes my friends wear, nor do I spend hours pontificating with female friends about our favorite underwear, but perhaps I am in a minority. I would not like others publicly gifting me with underwear for the singular reason that then everyone will know exactly what I have on underneath my clothes. I have not yet been to a lingerie party myself, but at the next one I am invited to attend I will be bringing a six-pack of cotton Fruit of the Loom (comfort is essential to a new bride as she is trying to use all the new appliances and gravy boats she has just acquired at once) and a cape. The cape will be a useful cover-up once she has discovered that none of her new gifts fit her.     

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