Thursday, December 06, 2012

Writer's Block, Opium, and You

I've been doing some research on "how to write a book" to put off writing a book, and I'm sick of reading that Writer's Block isn't a real thing. Of course it is! Sure, it's not diagnosable by any current medical standards, as it doesn't show up on X-rays or blood work. But just because "Construction Worker's Block" is not a popular phrase, doesn't mean that other occupations don't have difficulty producing work too. It might not be a tangible object lodged between your left cerebrum hemisphere and your parietal lobe, but it really does afflict writers. When I am suffering from Writer's Block, I like to curl into a ball of self-pity murmuring to myself, pace about the room spastically, or to give up writing altogether for six to eight years. I am trying to conquer my own writer's block by setting a daily quota and sticking to it even if I think I am producing garbage, and by purchasing an opium pipe for inspiration like the great writers of the Romantic period. I don't actually plan on using the opium pipe, I just think being able to look at one at times will provide useful inspiration. If the book thing doesn't work out, someday I may be able to re-purpose the garbage I have written into greeting cards or term papers or something. 

Like the opium pipe, another very important element of writing well is having a very good pen. It is nearly impossible to write any amount of worthy prose, or a good check for that matter, with the wrong pen. This law applies to those who use a computer as well; it simply must be in the writer's possession, quickly retrievable, and resting somewhere in the vicinity. I used to try writing directly on the computer screen, but found the "save" feature did not work that way. 

1 comment:

LTH said...