After a week of vacation, I returned to work today to find that my office smells of pancakes. I have not been able to locate the source of the pancake scent, but suspect it may be coming from inside my computer as it sounds exactly like it is trying desperately to operate despite being filled to the brim with pancake batter. I sought the technical assistance of a coworker to convince myself that it is a genuine possibility that the computer spontaneously became burdened with a technical pancake issue and not that I caused the problem by leaving it on the whole week I was gone.
As this grating noise may indicate that its days are almost up, my objective today will be to back up all my files, which naturally I have not done once in five years. It would be a shame to lose so many good pictures of cats. Today is a slightly momentous day, however, as I have just quit Facebook and already feel a tremendous sense of relief. It is only 10:30 A.M. and I have managed to rearrange the entire office and iron everyone's winter coats. Perhaps the decision to eschew a compulsive, unrewarding behavior will help me to stick with one thing at a time, instead of trying to read thirty blogs at once. Back in the early days of colonial America, multi-tasking meant plowing the fields while whistling. Now it is more akin to balancing your checkbook while simultaneously watching Castle and performing laparoscopic surgery. Each time I feel tempted to direct my browser to that Web site, I put a quarter into a jar. I then go spend that quarter on bulk candy. It will be an uphill battle, as I am so trained to seek out Facebook whenever I am bored and want to have a worse day than I am currently having, but I am confident I can jump this hurdle and return to a life where I don't know how many miles my peers have just run or what noises their baby has made today. I am positive this will be easier than that month I tried to give up gluten. I can also say with certainty that it will be easier than that month when I was seven and agreed to give up television in exchange for ten dollars from my parents, during which I actually failed but lied about so I could keep the ten dollars.