After another set of interviews during which I performed a series of cartwheels while preparing a soufflé and writing advertising copy to demonstrate my multitasking skills, I was yet again turned down for being at once overqualified, under-qualified, too attractive, and not tall enough for the role. They were compassionate enough to tell me just before the holidays, so that I can spend my Christmas vacation hoping that they are visited by a plague of locusts. If rejections made good stocking stuffers, I would have one for everyone in my life. Some time after receiving the news, I eventually wiped away my tears and the tears of my coworkers who I had taken my disappointment out on by berating them for the rest of the afternoon. I then did what anyone who has suffered a recent letdown will recommend to you which was to buy a set of knives. The steak knives were of course a last-minute Christmas gift for my boyfriend and to steaks everywhere and not to exact revenge. I don't believe in revenge, anyway, I believe in getting drunk and convincing yourself that you never wanted something in the first place.
All is not lost, however, as I got to spend the rest of the day with someone I care about and I also got to eat Chinese take-out, which are two of the most important parts of life. I got presents, as well, which is the third important part of life. The Christmas/New Year's season is as good a time as any to give yourself a break and to reflect on these more important things. Which is exactly what I will be doing next week with my parents in Illinois as we venture from suburban mall to suburban mall. I have spent more time interviewing recently than I have spent with my parents this entire year, so it is time they get their due. But I am not wearing a suit and I refuse to talk about my strengths and weaknesses or in any way discuss my prior work experience.