Monday, November 26, 2012

The end of the world is supposedly approaching

Don't let that stop you from buying me Christmas presents, though. I'll even take them early if you are worried that I won't live to receive them. The bad news is that according to Mayans you may not be long for this earth (well more specifically the earth is not long for this earth). The good news is that you only have to pay rent one more month of your life! You may want to try pro-rating it for the last week that it won't be in use. I suppose it is a relief that I have not gotten a new job, as I would have to make the transition during the difficult period of the world ending. I feel like this would inevitably involve some Human Resources hold-ups.

Being a sucker for romance, my boyfriend and I have decided to finally pick an arbitrary "Anniversary" date and have selected December 21, 2012, also known as Doomsday, as the first occasion to celebrate. It seems a little silly to invent an imaginary anniversary date when we are probably commemorating a moment in time that I was at home microwaving Spaghetti-O's and he was napping. However, I think it is important in relationships to establish traditions that you can eventually make the other feel guilty about forgetting (See: Relationships, or "Find Me Somebody to Blame"). If he was a little smarter, he would have picked the day after December 21, as he might have gotten out of pretending to celebrate entirely. I can still be mad the morning before the world explodes, making the event just a little more excruciating. 

Book Progress Day 1: I have decided to call this Day 1, as this is the first day I felt like starting it. Being a Monday and therefore a very difficult day to remain awake through the entire thing, I have started off at a rapid pace. I have nearly four pages, which is already double my recommended daily output of two pages. It is possible that if the event mentioned above does transpire, I will only have a collection of fifty-some pages and it will never be read, even by my parents. To plan for this situation, I will be printing and storing my book draft in impact-resistant plastic so that someday it may be uncovered by aliens who decipher it and give it five stars on Amazon. 

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