Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Remember how your parents used to trick you into going to the doctor or to visit your Aunt Erma by pretending you were going to more kid-friendly places like the zoo or shopping for Mad Libs? No? Well mine did anyway. I've always been very gullible, so my childhood memories of Disneyworld (all seven of them) were remarkably inconsistent with other children's recollections, and I almost always reported my teeth being cleaner upon return.

Why is this relevant now? Aside from reminding you to psychologically damage your own children this way, I urge you to try it out on yourselves once in a while. For instance, I have a class tonight and it is snowing, lots (growing up in Chicago, this is obviously a new phenomenon for me), so I'd prefer to go home and curl up in front of a warm television. But this is not the decision the responsible adult-type person I am supposed to be by now would make. If I was instead convinced that I was going to a bar, I would be more disposed to leave work on time to get to class (bar) early. With practice, I'm convinced it will become remarkably easy to fool myself. For instance, in my mind I have been on a strict diet of healthy foods and moderate exercise for six months and have been steadily losing four pounds a day.

Will all this dishonesty with myself become confusing? Will I start to distrust myself? Yes, probably. I envision myself being disappointed when first setting foot in the classroom, but too embarrassed to mention anything as it may actually be some new type of bar that is too hip for me. Of course things could take a very different direction when I ask my teacher for a gin and tonic.


bridget said...

potatoes, meet your mash

Ashley said...

ah, you are right. that is better.