Thursday, February 26, 2009

I still think you're wrong.

My parents have had a banner year. As everyone knows, parents derive most of their happiness in life through being able to prove their children wrong. If you are not careful to ensure that they are proven wrong a comparable number of times, they are in danger of developing an over-inflated ego. Once this occurs there is virtually no turning back and you have lost what little control you had over them. In an effort to offset the rather large things they have been right about this year (drinking, moving in with strange men you met on the internet), I have compiled a list of things they were NOT right about.

Don't let it go to your head: Why I still think you're typically wrong and I know what I'm doing here.
  • Because I went to that concert Sunday night when you told me I'd never make it to work the next day, and not only did I make it to work, but I also hadn't showered or changed and ended up sleeping on a friend's couch.
  • I did not get kidnapped in Sinagpore.
  • I haven't fallen into the ocean yet, so I'm going to assume that my risk of drowning because of the relative proximity to the ocean is pretty slim.
  • Honestly, my boss really doesn't care if I wear miniskirts to the office. He isn't secretly judging me or writing me up in some nonexistent permanent record.
  • Ice cream for dinner is perfectly acceptable and I will not get scurvy.
  • That television show with Jennifer Love Hewitt talking to dead people is really horrible.

Obviously this list is incomplete and will need some additions to be really effective. But it's a start, and I at least hope to take them down a couple pegs by April.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Time is running out. It's already the 15th and you're still treading water.