Saturday, February 09, 2008

Vacuum? Vacumn? Vaacumn?

I woke up this morning with an incredible urge to vacuum. Some people claim to wake up and crave a drink or a cigarette, or for their methadone IV to drip faster. I woke up this morning and had to get my hands on the nearest vacuum cleaner. Which was relatively easy as I keep it on top of my night stand. It's too bad there isn't some kind of Locks for Life program for dogs, because my roommate's dog seems to shed an unprecedented amount of hair and it is all going to waste. So I spent this morning vacuuming everything in sight, including my laptop computer, my neighbor's cat, and a model of the U.S.S. Constitution I had created out of dust bunnies (that's a joke - my neighbor doesn't have a cat. I don't know whose cat that was). Needless to say, it's been a while since I've picked up a vacuum, so I had to divide the activity into a three-part process and should be finished by Tuesday. It's a good thing I did and decided to write about it, because it's about time I learned how to spell "vacuum." I am not a frequent obsessive compulsive neat freak, but I woke up and knew that I could not start my day without vacuuming everything around me and switching the lights on and off fourteen times. Next week: bleach, all of the surfaces it can be applied to, and why it should not be used on pets.

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