Friday, February 08, 2008

I found these people online and want to impress them. Because someday, as far-fetched as it seems, I'd like the ability to write something every once in a while and subsist entirely on some sort of royalty checks that periodically filter into my mailbox. It may be a lofty goal, but someday I too want to have a spot on Bargain bookshelves alongside my favorite authors. I usually rely on my unmatched ability to look good in a suit and to nod agreeably to win people's respect, but that's only possible once you've gotten past security. So what does one do to interest a publisher when one hasn't actually written anything of value yet? Send in glossy semi-nude photos? Show up outside their bedroom window with a boombox over my head blasting Peter Gabriel? Are gift baskets still popular these days?

Inappropriate gift basket
*I don't quite have the touch when it comes to Photoshop. Some roughly edited Microsoft Paint will have to do for the moment.

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