Friday, February 08, 2008

Happy New Year, or "Outlook Not Good"

I went out to celebrate the Chinese New Year last night with my family. As is customary, we ate seven different kinds of animals, consumed several bottles of wine, and I was sent off with an orange (guess which one is not actually a Chinese tradition). As it is the Year of the Rat and I am a rat myself, I felt a little like it was my birthday. Unfortunately after hearing the Chinese Zodiac predictions, it was like one of those birthdays where your wallet is stolen and you get a parking ticket and conclude the day by going to a funeral. According to my aunt's interpretation of a 2008 report in a Chinese newspaper, I have the following things to look forward to this year:
  • Unexpected weight gain
  • Dental problems resulting in blood loss
  • Being dumped; or pregnancy
  • Emotional instability
  • Something called "irrational exuberance"
  • Theft, break-ins, burglary and crime
  • Scandals of corporate greed and embezzlement (Ashleygate?)
  • Misty, clouded perceptions
This comes as a bit of a surprise as I actually had a good feeling about this year. There's a bit of a gray cloud settling over it now that I've been told to "be careful" six separate times. The comfort is in knowing that if I gain ten pounds and undergo a root canal, potentially three quarters of my high school graduating class will be suffering the same fate. That might just be another "misty, clouded perception," though. Happy New Year, rats!

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