Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Recession and How Your Wardrobe Will Be Affected

I look so happy because I'm next in line, and because the bread du jour is a marble rye.

If you are not a total blockhead or at least have a television which isn't consistently tuned to E!News, you have heard that we are in the midst of a particularly dismal time for the market. My brother works in finance, which means that I have zero insider information whatsoever about what the future will look like for us. And if he did, he probably wouldn't be able to tell me without killing me, which is not a very brotherly thing to do. But it is a bit disconcerting, considering that many of those in my generation (including myself, no surprise there) have not had to live in desperately bad economic periods, and wouldn't know the first thing about surviving in a depression. I mean look at this circa 1932 photo of me in a bread line above. I'm not even wearing a coat! If I was waiting in a Depression-era bread line, I would probably be waiting a long time and would be very cold by now. If we do enter into a recession that people my age have never before seen, people probably won't be paying very well for "humor writing," so hopefuls like myself may as well stop blogging and get back to work. If things get dark, the negative effects will probably reach farther than the number of designer jeans we can afford to buy. So what can those of us with little impact on the market do? Stock up on blankets? Well for one thing, you can probably cancel any plans you had to donate non-perishable food items and canned goods to the less fortunate anytime soon, because you may be needing them. I will of course keep you abreast of any new developments in this situation that I become aware of before CNN does.

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