Pained reactions/distresses voiced by my coworkers upon learning that I will be leaving my current job:
1. Nodding of heads
2. "Well, you weren't uptight, that was good."
3. "It happens" - as if I had accidentally stubbed my toe instead of having spent the last 3 months looking for a new job
4. Complacent smiling
5. Pounding of fists on the boardroom table with outraged look on face, exclaiming "Why God, why?" to the ceiling*
6. "Will you still come to happy hours?"
7. Complacent smiling coupled with nodding of heads
Internal struggles I imagine they were actually battling upon hearing the news:
1. "If only I had had time to write more consent forms with her."
2. "It's too bad she's leaving. With her here fighting the good fight, cancer didn't stand a chance. I gave it two more months tops. Now we'll never know. That bitch."
3. "Wasn't she wearing that shirt yesterday?
4. "I see her cocaine habit finally caught up with her."
5. "She definitely wore that shirt yesterday. She is really letting herself go."
6. "Will she still have a problem with alcohol if she doesn't hate her job anymore?"
7. "So I guess she's on cancer's side. What a bitch."
*This was actually invented by me for my own personal benefit. I'm not apologizing.