Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Dear Aspiring Candidate

I wish you could respond to an interested guy that you aren't mutually interested in like an employer screening prospective applicants. While you may not have found someone better than the interested party yet, I would like to be able to respond "I'm sorry, the position has been filled." It could be an outright lie, but how would they find out? A nice typewritten response with a $5 gift certificate to Dunkin Donuts enclosed would help to comfort a deflated ego. It could go something like this:

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your interest in dating me exclusively. However, we have selected another candidate whose skills and experiences better fit our goals and needs.

Once again, thank you for your interest in dating me. We wish you luck in pursuing your interests with other women less attractive than me.

There are no hard feelings. I've had plenty of rejections from companies. Some from companies I don't think I even applied to. I mean, I might feel bad about myself as a person because I have no job and no one wants to hire me, but I don't give the employer dirty looks when I run into them at a bar because they told me they were moving to another city and it turns out they still live here. Plus, you'd have gotten $5 at Dunkin Donuts out of the deal.


Anonymous said...

love it

Jonk said...

I love it, unanonymously.