Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Unused Writings Stored in My Drafts Box For Three Months, That No Longer Have Any Relevance

August 10 #1
I came home from Portland to an empy apartment, lit candles atop the coffee table, soft romantic music filling the living room. "Wow, my roommates really didn't have to do this just to welcome me back from Maine" I thought. Walking into my bedroom what I actually came home to was a giant oddly-placed mattress randomly in the middle of the room and a colony of ants trailing in from the open window. Then my roommate came back with a girl.

August 10 #2 (hardly qualifies as a blog post, but it takes up space)
Can you imagine if terrorists hated 99% of the US but loved Milwaukee or something? Like you'd find them hanging out in Milwaukee bars just relaxing having a good time, and then they'd go attempt to sabotage L.A.?

August 15

The Ashfreeblog is celebrating an anniversary!
Thanks for joining to help "mashed potatoes dot com" celebrate its One Year-3 Month Anniversary. As Ashfreeblog has always been anything but conventional, it will celebrate it's 1yr-3mo in an effort to continue this trend. We can't believe we've made it this far!!
The mashed potatoes blog will celebrate triumphantly by engaging in activities such as:
  • showing up to work on time
  • taking a half-hour snack break to eat Reeses Pieces candy and read better online publications like "McSweeney's"
  • staring longingly out the window
  • fantasizing about apartments that don't have a centipide problem
  • writing 300-word articles about beta coefficient
We encourage you to take part in your own celebrations. Here are some ideas!
  • Donating your next paycheck to Ashfreeblog!
  • Donating your next paycheck to Ashfreeblog!
  • The ideas are endless!!
No, that wasn't a typo! We're dirt poor!! Please help Ashfreeblog ring in the continuing year and keep us in your prayers and in your checkbooks -- and we will continue to provide you with irrelevent information on an irregular basis.

September 20
Meatloaf has a new album coming out. Album title suggestions for meatloaf's follow up album, based on VH1's behind-the-music special entitled "Meatloaf: To Hell and Back," with a little help from my brother:

Meatloaf: To hell -- and back, with time left to stop off for a frozen yogurt.

Meatloaf: To hell--and back--and then back to hell because i forgot my coat--but then back...again

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