For those of you who know my academic history, you will remember I was once designated as an Elementary Education major. This was quickly abandoned. This was a very bad idea for several reasons.
1. Children are not your personal slaves.
Just because they are smaller than you does not make you "Lord of the Children" or whatever you want to call yourself. Their parents do not send them to you every day to help file your taxes, organize your desk, polish your silverware, or even to sharpen the crayons. Telling them it is "our little secret" is not a fail-proof method of discouraging them from telling their parents. In some states, it is even illegal. Do not treat children as slaves.
2. Time outs have limits.
I do not believe in spanking, hitting, or even branding children. What worked for me when I was a kid, and what seems to withstand the test of time, are "time outs." They work wonders on children who are afraid of you, of the dark corners of the classroom, or of what comes after "5" in "I'm counting to five."
Scenario: Bobby has been gluing the slower students' hands together. This is disconcerting because they can't figure out how to separate them on their own. You were going to let this one slide, but Bobby's also been rifling through your desk for booze. Bobby needs a time out.
Problem: The problem with this situation is that after twenty minutes, Bobby wants to come back and join class. He insists he's "learned his lesson" and that "it won't happen again." While of course, you don't believe Bobby, (he comes from a family of swindlers and cheats), the school can't advocate more punishment. You are right in that Bobby shouldn't be believed, he will be back at your desk drawer in the next five minutes, but unfortunately there are no "time outs" for the teacer.
A time out is not your chance to catch up with friends, go out for a smoke, call back that tax-collecter that's been bugging you, or to go out with John for a quick round of drinks.
Children catch on pretty quickly. When you and John come back reaking of booze (and not your ordinary Jack Daniels), and they ask why your hair looks like that, they are not complimenting you on your new style.
3. School days cannot be canceled at whim.
"Your teacher could not be here on account of intense hangover" is not an appropriate reason to cancel class. Neither is rain, bad hair days, or "something good was on tv."